The Punishment

Remember when i ate the cookie without permission?  Well if you do, you're doing better than i am because i can't remember when that was!!  i just remember we were at work when i did it and i remember He wasn't all that happy with me.

So anyway, the punishment was finally given.  i don't even remember when that was either!  A couple days  ago, but i can't even nail down the day.  Wow i'm an awesome historian huh?  Don't ever ask me to be a witness on the stand for you if you need particulars, i am the suck.

So Master decided it was time for me to have my punishment and He told me that i would have a few minutes to finish up at the computer while He got things ready.  Basically that was a little warning for me to get my head on straight because i'm in for a little ride.  Normally i don't get those warnings and when i do, i am super grateful.

Master called me into the bedroom when He was ready and the very first thing He did was put the cuffs on me behind my back.  Then He removed my glasses and put a lacing leather hood on me.  It takes a while to put this hood on and to get the breather holes in the right spots.  Until those holes are right where they need to be, i have to continuously be reminding myself that it'll be fine as soon as it's on properly.  Not only does this hood lace in back, it buckles as well as locks.

Master changed the cuffs from back to front and used some chain around my waist to further restrain my hands and connect them to my waist.  It's all very fuzzy now, and was then too.  Once that hood goes on everything is seriously a mental blur.  i don't think my feet were locked at all, but i might be wrong about that.  i'm not sure.  He told me to get as comfortable as possible because i was going to be in that position for a long, long while.  i felt Him get on the bed next to me and start messing with remotes and stuff, then the baseball game was on the TV.  i was to remain that was for the duration of the game.  So however long a nine inning baseball game lasts, fast forwarding through commercials, i'll have to leave the guesstaments up to you.  =)

The other part of my punishment would be more startling than anything else, occasionally Master would smack me with this swede slapper He has or the leather slapper.  The leather one is quite a bit more than just startling, however!  Then of course there is just the random smack here and there just to be sure i am reminded of the reason for my current predicament.

Once the game was over, Master removed the hood and put the harness blindfold on me with very strict instructions NOT to open my eyes.  i think the idea was that it would bring me out of my current headspace, i'm sure He would have been right.  Although i didn't think of that until just this minute.  Anyway, once the harness was on, the blowjob began!  Master had a long time to warm up because baseball games are long!!! So it took a short time and not much work for me to get Him to His happy place, this time.  That's always exciting for me, because i know He's super turned on!!  =) 

Of course this entire scenario wasn't simply because i ate one cookie.  i messed up a lot that one day.  There is more to it though, i'm really not punished enough for my daily mess-ups.  The times when i forget to say "Yes Master" or when i enter a room and speak without being spoken to, if i forget myself and have a smart mouth, the list is long.  i deserve the punishments i get and more than anything i like the reminder of my place in this relationship.  i am His slave, it's who i am and what i was meant to be in this life.  Call it punishment, call it a reminder of my place, whatever it is, pretty much whenever i get it, it's long over-due.

i hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday evening!

MD's treasure

Master's helper

The other day i was helping Master in the garage and as He does now then when He's working on something, He'll ask what i think about this or that.  It's always understood that He will make the final decision but He would still like to know what i think.  So i tell Him what i think sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn't.  Sometimes He likes my ideas, sometimes He looks at me like i have absolutely no idea what the heck i'm talking about.  Sometimes... i offer my opinion when He doesn't ask for my opinion.  Sometimes, i do this way too often.

i wish i knew right before this was going to happen, because i get over confident.  i love to help Master when He's working and when He asks me for help, i try to do the very best job i am capable of  doing.  i have learned for the most part how to anticipate His needs and have things that He might need.  i'm not great at it, but i'm much better than i used to be.  So when i get too cocky and He gets upset with me i am crushed!  i don't see it coming, i am just flying high because i'm Master's big helper! and BOOM He lowers the hammer because i have gotten on His last nerve.

Master doesn't know He's hurt my wittle fewings and i don't know i'm about to go too far.  Like i said, i wish i knew right before it was going to happen so i could take a step back and stop it right before it was going to happen so i could take 5 and put myself in check.  This never happens!

The question i have is, why is it just so important to me that i perform so well for Him that in this particular case, when He reprimands me, i am so totally crushed.  It's always important to me to do a good job but this is just extra special!  In other instances when He reels me in, i am fine.  But when i am helping Him on His turf and i mess up, i'm mush.  This of course just happened the other night when i thought i was being so helpful, in fact i had reached His last nerve and He sent me inside.  He told me i was being just the opposite of helpful!  He wasn't mean, He just sent me inside!  Alone!  Hmph.

When He came inside to retrieve me because now He needed me, i was crying!  All i could do was tell Him that i just want to help and He said that He knows i want to help but i need to know when to hush!  Bleh.  i just get so caught up in being this good little helper that i forget to hush.

During the summertime Master and i do countless outdoor projects and this happens probably more than i can count.  It's just something i wish i was better at anticipating.

Well i'm off here to see what i can get into today!  i hope everyone is staying nice and cool.

MD's treasure       

A Few Things i Know

So yesterday when i was in the shower i was thinking about all the things that i think, say and do and how often i change my mind.  Then i was wondering if there were very many things that i know "for sure"?  So as i often do when i'm in the shower, i started brainstorming!  Now, because i'm not in the shower anymore this list isn't going to be near as good as it would be were i singing in the rain!  But i'll give it a try!

Things i know... for sure, and some i don't:

1. i love Master more than i love anyone or anything, ever.
2. When i make two cups of coffee, i will want just a hair more than that.  When i make more, i will want less.
3. The dishwasher is never too full and i can always make room for one more dish.
4. Pink is my favorite color, it always has been.  Except when i choose purple.
5. i am positive that i can take a quick shower and i assure myself every day that i will be in and out in a jiffy.  Every day, the time never changes and i stick the exact same routine, it never shortens, ever.  But today it will be shorter!
6. Football games are simply too long.
7. i am never given enough time to look in the jewelry section.
8. The picture is straight enough and no one will notice if it's even with other ones.
9. my grocery list is a guide, not a comprehensive list, i will veer from it occasionally.
10. The worst moment of my day is when i first open my eyes and feel that searing pain go through my head.
11. Nothing makes me feel better than a huge bear hug from Master.
12. It makes me blissfully happy to sit on the swing and watch the birds every evening.
13. i am always the winner at miniature golf because i end up with the highest score, Master on the other hand is always the loser with the lowest.  He should work on His game, really. =)
14. Other than Master, to me, Yadier Molina is probably the hottest man on the planet.
15. i think we spend too much time on ourselves and not enough on each other.  i don't know how to fix it though!
16. The things that Master can make just with some wood and some screws amaze me. It's not what He does, it's how He gets from point A to point B.  
17. If i were able to say what was in my head i wouldn't be so misunderstood and more widely accepted.  Words don't come out right for me a lot of the time and i think i come off wrong to people.  i wish i were better able to express myself, verbally as well as in text.
18. i'm almost ready to leave, just one. more. thing.

i had lots more but i lost it from the shower to here, since yesterday.  Maybe i'll add on later.

MD's treasure

i Need Work

Most of the rules that i follow have been set in place for a long time.  Some of them well over ten years, like the asking permission to leave His presence, that one for sure.  Asking to eat hasn't been set for quite that long, but a long time for sure.  Asking to use the restroom hasn't been for as long but quite some time.  The point being, it's all second nature for me to ask before doing any one of those things.  The other thing that is also second nature is that i presume Master will say an automatic "yes" to all of those things.  i mean, why wouldn't He, He always does, right?  Wrong.

i have become so conditioned that i just "know" He'll say "sure, you may use the restroom" or "yeah, go ahead and leave the room" or "eat whatever", that i don't even wait for His answer sometimes.  i just go about my business without even listening sometimes.  Whether Master likes to admit it, He mumbles! lol and admittedly i presume He will say "yes" those two combined are the perfect storm.  It's up to me!!!! to pay attention to His answer and WAIT for His response.  If Master mumbles i either have to ask for Him to repeat Himself or wait until it's a better time.  Now this He will admit; Master is not a patient Man, so if it's not a good time, i have to come back. =p

Either way, the moral of the story does not change in the least.  i have become presumptuous.  No matter what the particulars are, this is just how bad it is sometimes:  i will be sitting at my computer in the den with Master, and i want to leave the room.  i STAND UP and THEN i say "Master may i have permission to leave Your presence?" ..... ummmm?  How is that not super presumptuous?  Here's another good one:  With my hand on the bathroom doorknob:  "Master may i please use the bathroom?".  Also not an exaggeration!  Okay so the only thing i don't do is put my hand in the frig and then ask for something to eat.  In that case though, i really hardly ever expect that He'll say no.  i should though, and if He ever does say no, i'm crushed, shocked and sometimes even angry.  Huh.  Angry, really?  Wow.  It doesn't last long, maybe even for a minute or two but the fact that it comes up at all, huh.  i go through this whole litany in my head of "why would He tell me no? i need food! i'm really hungry! i'm lightheaded! i'm dizzy!  my head hurts!" LOL omgosh the list goes on!  Seriously you would think He shot me.  But then it passes and i realize He has a plan or more than likely He didn't think i needed food at that exact moment and He was probably right, i'm just being a drama-slave.

There are also some areas where i have begun to curtail my own thinking and gone the other way entirely.  An example;  because i must ask permission to do so many things i nearly feel like i should ask to do even more things and there should be even more restrictions on my activities.  Such as the other day, Master allowed me to use the restroom, when i was finished, i decided that as long as we were going to try to get an early start for the day, i would go ahead and hop in the shower.  Of course it's not just the use of the facilities that was on my mind it felt like a very bold activity to just presume that i was allowed to make myself unavailable to Him for more than just a moment.  i am using His water, His soap and shampoo, but it's even more than that.  i am coveting His property for a time, preparing it for His use none the less but manipulating it without permission, of that there is no doubt.

Another thing i was thinking about was going out of the house, should i be allowed to walk outside?  Even if i've already asked to leave His presence,  should i be allowed to completely leave the house where if He were to ring His bell for me, i would not hear it.  The answer i have thought of is probably no, i shouldn't be.

These are things i think about... i need work and lots of it. =)

Peace to you and yours,

MD's treasure