Whoops!!

This is the closest i've ever been to outing myself to my family.  i don't generally run off at the mouth or lose track of what i'm saying when i'm talking about where we've been, where we're going or what we've done.  Typically i'm able to go with the flow and if i have to, toss in a little tall tale to get me by.  This time, i really said too much and wasn't able to back my way out of the corner.

i was chatting with my sister, to whom i hadn't spoken in several days.  That doesn't happen very often so she wanted to catch up.  i wasn't really all that interested in doing so and while that really seems snotty, it's in my own best interest to back off a bit from her.  Lately each conversation ends with me feeling terrible, so the fact that we haven't spoken has worked out well for me, call it self preservation, if you like.  Anyway, back to the topic at hand.  She asked what we had been up to and i mentioned the trip to Chicago we had taken to help friends pick up a bed.

She knew we'd been to Chicago this time last year because Master and i stopped to see my nephew (her son) at his job and it was his very first weekend at his job, so it was a pivotal point in his life.  So my sister isn't slow and i should have realized that she would put two and two together and wonder why we went all the way into the city two years in a row, the same weekend.

We started talking about something else briefly because she was lost, driving (as always) and i thought i had distracted her, helping her find her way.  No such luck there, however.  Once she was back on track, she said "so I hate to keep pressing the issue" when in fact she didn't "hate to keep pressing the issue".  i knew she wasn't about to let this matter drop until she was satisfied, i was being much too vague for her liking.

Her: "you're not sure where you went to get this bed?"
me: *crickets*
Her: "can you not tell me?"
me: "ehh, i guess that's it."
Her: "okay then".

So she's still horribly lost driving around in circles and finally gets fed up and says she has to call me back.  Thank goodness!  i hang up and i'm just a fumbling mess because i've never really frozen like that before.  Why didn't i just say we were going to the city for the day with friends?  That's a true story.  Master contends that it's none of her f----g business and He is quite right.  i should have excused myself from the conversation by saying as much in a polite way but it's really my fault for bringing it up in the first place!


A while later she called back as she said she would.  She never calls back when she says she will, never. This time was different of course, she was digging for a story.  She allowed me a way out and i was ever so grateful.  Her:  "Did your trip have anything to do with S.E.X?" She is SO uncomfortable with sex and anything having to do with the topic... yep she SPELLED it out, i kid you not.  So i said, yeah we go in to purchase particular items that are difficult to buy other places.  We don't go for the show.  i hear a HUGE sigh of relief because she couldn't bear to think of me going to a sex show for the enjoyment of it all.  "Ohhh okay, I completely understand what you mean."  The truth being she didn't really understand anything at all.  She just needed to know that it was really about sex and i wasn't involved in something so filthy and disgusting like s.e.x.


my sister has a lot of material things, they have more money than God, a huge home and they travel all over the world.  Her husband cheats on her and she's alone more than he's with her.  It's also become quite apparent that she is no longer able to even speak about sex without becoming so uncomfortable she's a trembling mess.  i get mad at her when she's mean to me and hurts me but more and more i have to understand how much she's hurting.  Even if i had outed myself and Master the problem would have been hers to deal with, not mine.  It would have upset me to know she may turn her back on me for a while, maybe even forever but it's only because of her own shortcomings.  i would be devastated, even.  i just have to think that eventually people who truly love us will accept us for who we are, even if they think we're freaks!  =)

MD's treasure