From Hawk:
"One of my biggest fears always...is topping from the bottom...or appearing to top from the bottom."
i decided to make a whole post from his comment because my comment back to him got really long AND i thought it was such a great statement from him. We have a lot to learn from each other, this was a wonderful example of just that.
i love to hear you say topping from the bottom is one of your fears. It means you're totally aware of it. Isn't that huge? i mean if that's one of your biggest fears then isn't it more than likely never going to happen?
i don't know maybe that's a backward way of looking at it but i think that if you are hypersensitive to a situation in this regard anyway, i think you'll be much less likely to ever over step your boundaries.
It's a short coming for me, topping from the bottom. Whether i mean to do it or not, my headaches play a massive role in any bondage setting. No matter if He knew i had them when we got together or not (which of course He did) having a non stop headache is something that gets in the way of every. single. bondage time. Even if i don't say a word, Master can tell something hurts my head by a wince or the look on my face and if something starts out hurting, He knows it won't go well or last long because i will soon be in excruciating pain and really what fun is that? Yucky pain and suffering on top of what's supposed to be *good* pain and suffering?? =)
Over the nearly ten years that Master and i have been together i have learned to adapt to different equipment and unfortunately Master has had to compromise too. Is there any other way to look at it than topping from the bottom? It's a matter of opinion. Indeed, my headaches were the driving force in that, for a bondage scene to be successful we had to work together and maybe use things with less head buckles or more padding on the head. Something with slightly looser locks around the neck or head, etc. This in NO WAY pleased Master, make no mistake about it, but it was all a necessary evil to make this work.
There are still things that come up that do not please Him, that make Him take a breather where He has to remember that it's my headaches calling the shots, not me. It still doesn't please Him. The new hood, i got for Christmas is amaaaaazing for me!!! It's soft supple leather, locking in the back, perfect with nooooo buckles on the top of the head. The best part about that hood? i had no idea He was ordering a new one. He did that all for me, He could have continued to make me wear the old ones, with the huge buckles and locks. The new one is just as restraining (maybe more so) than any other hood He's ever used, and softer than any other head restraint He's ever used. Again, is that me topping from the bottom or is it a compromise or a means to an end; Him getting what He wanted me bound for His pleasure? =)
i should be just as afraid as Hawk to top from the bottom, even though i've always really disliked the phrase, it's for good reason. It's because i dislike the action even more.
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
Topping from the bottom invariably happens at times in an D/s relationship. It takes two understanding parties to work through these issues. Your Master may be disappointed at times, but seems to understand that your headaches are just one of those things that have to be worked through. Nice post. I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! =)
ReplyDeleteHmm...honestly, there's a lot of ways you can look at it. Topping from the bottom? Well, if it were something you controlled, like you were making them up to get out of things you didn't like, I could totally see that. In your case, it's a totally different thing. You can't help the physical limitations of your own body, you know? It's not a deliberate act to take control.
ReplyDeleteLike you said, if you're consciously afraid of it, you're more likely to take steps to avoid any action that would cause you to top from the bottom.
Nice blog, by the way, and thanks for following me!
Hi there and i'm glad you like the blog! You're right, it's not deliberate but even so, personal limitations bring on guilt as well, knowing that i might fall short of His expectations. i don't know what's worse, the fear of disappointing him or the fear of topping from the bottom... ?
ReplyDelete