Friday September 29th my Mom was scheduled to have a new port put in for dialysis. She called me at 9:30am at her house where Master and i were staying. She told me that she cancelled the surgery, she wasn't going to have a new port put in, she was ready to die.
She made the hardest decision anyone can ever make in life. She chose to end her own suffering, knowing that she would never get better, she was ready to end this life and continue the next. She knew what was coming, she was able to say good bye to her family and friends and we were able to tell her everything we've always needed or wanted to tell her.
my sister and i spent nearly every moment with her, taking turns and on Tuesday, October 3rd at 11:42pm, i heard her take her last breath. i was with her when she went and there was no emergency, just peace.
We had the most beatiful service for her, our cousin who is a preacher, did her service and the funeral home was standing room only. Even her doctor, who was also her friend, came to say good bye. She looked like she did before she got sick, she truely looked beatiful and completely at peace. Master was there for me and never left my side. He was there to hold me, cry with me and laugh with me, when i would remember something funny about her. i am so thankful for Him, i can't even begin to explain how His support has gotten me through this time of pain. This is the first time i have lost someone and even though we had a few days to prepare ourselves, i wasn't ready and i never would have been.
my Mom said many notable things before she went but one thing she said, we'll never forget. All of us kids were with her at different times, we all told her that we loved her, that we were proud of her and that she did the best job she could have done for us. We forgave her and told her that we were all going to be OK. She had always worried that she failed us in so many ways, but because we were all able to let her know how much we loved her, it gave her the greatest peace she had ever known. She looked at my brother and sister with the realization that she'd been a good Mom and said "I won". That's right Mom, you won at life, you did a good job and you're right, you won! That very small statement will be engraved on her headstone "Won at Life".
i will be OK, some day. Probably not today or tomorrow, but i'll be OK. She was always so worried about me because i was her baby. my brother had a long talk with her and assured her that she shouldn't worry about me. He told Mom how much Master loves me and that He would never let anything happen to me. Mom told my brother that she knew how much my husband loves me and how thankful she was for that.
my brother made us all really think one night when he took us all out for supper, before she died. He said that no matter what happens to Mom, no matter how soon she leaves us, she has created a web for us. She leaves us tied to one another for life. Inside this family, there are many different and individual relationships that will never be severed. Mom has given us each other for the rest of our lives. She gave us the gift of family.
i'm having a hard time as anyone would. She was my friend and i told her everything. Yesterday morning, Master was upset with me as He sometimes is, and the very first thing i thought was.... i'll call Mom, she'll tell me what to do. But i can't call her and i can't hear her tell me what to do anymore. Now i can only talk to her in my mind and listen carefully to what i think she'd say.
Master and i moved my grandma into an independant living facility and she's doing just fine. She's got a lovely room and new friends already. The timing could not have been any better. Now i know she'll be taken care of and she's safe. i call her nearly every day and she tells me what she's up to. It's good for me to be able to talk to her and i don't want her to think we've all abandon her.
Master is coming upstairs now, so i'll sign off for now. Thank you for all your good thoughts and prayers.
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
ohh hun. I am crying. I have read your journal forever it seems and I guess I just didn't expect this. I am sorry for your pain. I am happy she went happy peaceful. Guess if we could all go so nicely.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want to talk please email me. You have it. Hop on MSN whatever I will gladly listen
starla aka firerunner
*hugs*
ReplyDeletetreasure,
These words are small yet I hope that they give you some comfort. I'm so sorry to hear of your mother. There's a piece of you that will always remind you of her and that is the piece you should keep alive. Don't let it fade.
--luna
*hugs* to my two most faithful readers! Thank you both so much for your thoughts and concern. Knowing you are out there thinking about me, reminds me that i'm never alone in my grief!
ReplyDeleteMD's treasure
I share tears with you treasure as my own loss of my Mom is still fresh. I don't think it will ever be anything less. Like you, having those last moments, knowing you gave all you had o give, and being there to let her know she was loved up to the very last breath is undescribably precious. My heart and many hugs are with you.
ReplyDeletep*
Treasure,
ReplyDeletei am terribly sorry for the heartache you feel...Yes, time will heal your aches...I am a firm believer, that when it is our time-we know it, and the angel that was there with us when we came to be, will be there to escort us when it is time to leave.
May your heart have:
A peace that surpasses all understanding.
In humble service i am,
Lotus
www.thelotussongs.blogspot.com