i have read a lot lately about submissive women who ask their Master’s to be more dominant and more forthright only to turn on them when they do so. i am so guilty of this it isn’t funny. i have asked Master more than once to say “no” to me and to be more dominant. Then when He does say no or when He takes control in a manner that i don’t like, i totally rebuke Him. This has happened more times than i can count and i wish that there were some way i was able to blindly follow His lead in these situations. i am a very strong willed and strong minded person, i always have been and i’m sure i always will be. That doesn’t mean that i can’t be submissive and it doesn’t mean that i don’t have a strong desire to embrace that woman inside me. i have mentioned in the past about the timing, that i think a lot of it is in the timing. For some reason, i feel like Master chooses the oddest times and oddest situations to be dominant. Thinking about that though, it really shouldn’t matter what times He chooses to be dominant or the situation, for that matter.
i would love to be able to just say “yes Master” to anything that He suggests. But up until now, i haven’t really been successful at that. i almost always find a reason for not doing what He asks, even if it’s something as simple as coming to kneel before Him. When we first got together i found myself kneeling before Him much of the time. Now it’s a rare occasion and i think that might be partly the problem. He doesn’t require enough of me, often enough. i have gotten out of practice and when He does ask me to kneel before Him, or anything like that, it’s unexpected and i’m taken aback by the request. Just like the other day, He told me to get the handcuffs and cuff myself before i came back to sit with Him. The first words out of my mouth were those of protest. my first thought was how much i hate to be handcuffed (unless it’s with the leather cuffs) and how uncomfortable i would be in them. Of course, after mouthing off to Him, i did as i was told, but not before shooting my mouth off about how unhappy i was about His request. Afterward i sat wondering why i couldn’t just go and do as i was told instead of running my mouth.
i can sit here and type all this and say that i want to be better but i know i need help to do so. i can’t do it on my own, i need His direction and support and i need a constant form of dominance to be successful. i know that i would be much better if the situation were more consistent. i find myself feeling guilty more often than not for standing up to Him when i know i should find my submissive self and do simply that, submit. That is what i want, i want to submit to Him, i want to be a well behaved slave. More than anything, i want to please Him and i know that i don’t do that very well. i mean, even the rules that He has given to me, many of them have fallen to the wayside. i’m sure that partly because when He corrects me, i smart off to Him or worse yet, find excuses. In my mind i think that i’m just “giving my reasons” but i’m sure that to Him it’s nothing but excuses. If i’m going to do better and be a better slave to my Master i think i need more guidance from Him and i think i need it on a more consistent basis.
Now i can’t say that it’s His fault entirely because and i’m not, i’m not placing blame at all. i just see that things could be better and i see that i could be much better. i want to be better and i want to serve Him in the best way i know how. i truly want Him to be happy but is He? i can’t honestly say that i know. Looks like this little slave has a lot of work to do.
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
I agree with d`anerah[iw]. I am going through much the same thing. My Master has gone to more of a micromanagement for me to accomplish the rules he set for me. I think it's completely normal to have times where you wish for more dominance, you need the strict feeling. Submissives all around have feelings of needing to submit more, it's part of the growth process.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find that balance in Firmer control and searching for your place.
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ReplyDeletei know that "place" is out there for me, i just need to find the balance between my own freedom and what i feel i need to give up in order to feel as though i'm truly serving Him. At some point i think there needs to be give and take between Master and i as far as Him letting me know what He wants from me and then following through to demand it. i can feel myself wanting to respond to Him in a submissive/slavelike manner. The more i think about it the more i think that what i need is very atainable, i just need to work toward it.
ReplyDeleteMD's treasure
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