A few days ago Master said that i should make a list of all the things that i do wrong. Not something to bring me down but as a realization that i do many things wrong. i wrote out a list of the things i do wrong and the things i do right. He commented that writing out the things i do right was sort of like an excuse that i was saying "well i do this stuff wrong, but look at everything i do right". i'm not sure why i made out both lists, i'm sure He's right although i wasn't thinking of it that way at all.
i thought i would post my "bad slave" list here because then it's out in the open and there would be no getting away from it once it's out in the open!
1. i ask to smoke some times when i know i shouldn't
2. i don't always wear the required clothing and i take too many liberties without asking permission.
3. i don't keep the house as clean as i should. (this is more an expectation that i have of myself, Master isn't all that concerned with it)
4. i don't always put Master first.
5. i complain or i become too concerned with my own comfort during bondage.
6. i snack without permission.
7. i can be too independant sometimes.
8. i don't always respond properly IE "Yes, Master".
9. Things that are very important to Master aren't as important to me as they should be.
10. i always seem to have an excuse.
11. i don't always think like a slave. (this was added when Master found out i made a "good slave" list as well as the bad)
When i look at that list, i think to myself, well those aren't hard things to improve on really, i should have no trouble at all perfecting those things. But for some reason, they are the hardest for me to improve upon. Why can't i just remember to respond with "Yes Master"? Why is it so difficult to ask Master before i eat? Why do i feel i have to make an excuse for something i have done? Control? laziness? i'm not sure most likely it's a mixture of both. Often times i don't ask permission to get undressed or wear something different than i supposed to or snack without permisson because i know i won't like the answer. i'm sure that must be it, or i know He won't let me off easily.
More often than not when i ask for something to eat, He'll come back with "when are you going to try to lose weight?" or "didn't we just finish supper?" i rarely eat during the day when He's not here so a few hours after supper, my tummy tells me it wants more food IE supper= lunch so after our evening meal my tummy thinks it should have another meal. The best way to handle that is to eat during the day so i'm not starving 3-4 hours after supper. Master eats once a day except Fridays so He doesn't understand my need for more food after we've eaten.
There are a hundred ways i could work on the things i do wrong, they are important to Master, they should become a priority to me. The whole eating thing is difficult because i don't think about food during the day and i'm not hungry. i don't get hungry it seems until later in the day and that's when i seem to want to snack or have the desire to eat.
Why can't i say "Yes, Master" or when He's on the phone with me during the day "Yes, Sir", i'm not sure, it's not that i never say it, i say it often but not as often as i should. Clearly, i need work.
The other day Master was slapping at my bottom with a towel, making it snap and sting me. i detest this it is extremely scary to me and when i was young it was something that my mom drilled into our heads that we should never ever do. i asked Him to please stop then i must have given Him a dirty look. i was completely out of my element and reacted as though i actually had control over what He does to me. It doesn't matter to Him what i like or don't like when it comes to things like that and it's something i need to let go of. That's just a hard one for me because of the horror stories my mom used to tell us about that particular thing. It doesn't matter though, i wanted to control Him and i wanted Him to stop, immediately and THAT was wrong! i knew it then and i know it now, but will i be able to just let it go? i don't know that either.
i know i'll never be perfect and i know that i'll always have work to do, but it seems to me that all the time i have spent away from home, either at my moms with her being sick or me in the hospital, i have spent too much time away from Master. In those situations i have had to be in control and i have had to act as a very responsible and able person. When He's not with me and in those situations, i find myself taking on a roll that i was used to when i was working, it's hard to settle back into slave mode after that. But i know this is the mode i prefer and this is who i am, i am Master's slave, good and bad. It's a never ending process for me and i know that somedays i do much better than others. i just haven't had very many good days lately, but i'll improve, i know i will because He requires it and because i need to make Him happy and proud of me.
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
treasure,
ReplyDeleteI too have recently had to make a list like that of all the things that are supposed to be rules that I'm not following. I'm practically starting over again with them all and it's so frustrating! Why is it we struggle with the things that we want to do so badly? I want to make my Master happy just as I'm sure you do yours, so why can't we do the simple things like reply correctly or dress the way they wish and so forth? I'm battling my own rules, but some are quite similiar to yours. I understand completely!
I think I would have made two lists as well. I wasn't given the option as it was done with Master right over my shoulder.
*hugs*
--luna
You certainly may...and I see you already did. :) Links are a good thing...
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