A few days ago Master said that i should make a list of all the things that i do wrong. Not something to bring me down but as a realization that i do many things wrong. i wrote out a list of the things i do wrong and the things i do right. He commented that writing out the things i do right was sort of like an excuse that i was saying "well i do this stuff wrong, but look at everything i do right". i'm not sure why i made out both lists, i'm sure He's right although i wasn't thinking of it that way at all.
i thought i would post my "bad slave" list here because then it's out in the open and there would be no getting away from it once it's out in the open!
1. i ask to smoke some times when i know i shouldn't
2. i don't always wear the required clothing and i take too many liberties without asking permission.
3. i don't keep the house as clean as i should. (this is more an expectation that i have of myself, Master isn't all that concerned with it)
4. i don't always put Master first.
5. i complain or i become too concerned with my own comfort during bondage.
6. i snack without permission.
7. i can be too independant sometimes.
8. i don't always respond properly IE "Yes, Master".
9. Things that are very important to Master aren't as important to me as they should be.
10. i always seem to have an excuse.
11. i don't always think like a slave. (this was added when Master found out i made a "good slave" list as well as the bad)
When i look at that list, i think to myself, well those aren't hard things to improve on really, i should have no trouble at all perfecting those things. But for some reason, they are the hardest for me to improve upon. Why can't i just remember to respond with "Yes Master"? Why is it so difficult to ask Master before i eat? Why do i feel i have to make an excuse for something i have done? Control? laziness? i'm not sure most likely it's a mixture of both. Often times i don't ask permission to get undressed or wear something different than i supposed to or snack without permisson because i know i won't like the answer. i'm sure that must be it, or i know He won't let me off easily.
More often than not when i ask for something to eat, He'll come back with "when are you going to try to lose weight?" or "didn't we just finish supper?" i rarely eat during the day when He's not here so a few hours after supper, my tummy tells me it wants more food IE supper= lunch so after our evening meal my tummy thinks it should have another meal. The best way to handle that is to eat during the day so i'm not starving 3-4 hours after supper. Master eats once a day except Fridays so He doesn't understand my need for more food after we've eaten.
There are a hundred ways i could work on the things i do wrong, they are important to Master, they should become a priority to me. The whole eating thing is difficult because i don't think about food during the day and i'm not hungry. i don't get hungry it seems until later in the day and that's when i seem to want to snack or have the desire to eat.
Why can't i say "Yes, Master" or when He's on the phone with me during the day "Yes, Sir", i'm not sure, it's not that i never say it, i say it often but not as often as i should. Clearly, i need work.
The other day Master was slapping at my bottom with a towel, making it snap and sting me. i detest this it is extremely scary to me and when i was young it was something that my mom drilled into our heads that we should never ever do. i asked Him to please stop then i must have given Him a dirty look. i was completely out of my element and reacted as though i actually had control over what He does to me. It doesn't matter to Him what i like or don't like when it comes to things like that and it's something i need to let go of. That's just a hard one for me because of the horror stories my mom used to tell us about that particular thing. It doesn't matter though, i wanted to control Him and i wanted Him to stop, immediately and THAT was wrong! i knew it then and i know it now, but will i be able to just let it go? i don't know that either.
i know i'll never be perfect and i know that i'll always have work to do, but it seems to me that all the time i have spent away from home, either at my moms with her being sick or me in the hospital, i have spent too much time away from Master. In those situations i have had to be in control and i have had to act as a very responsible and able person. When He's not with me and in those situations, i find myself taking on a roll that i was used to when i was working, it's hard to settle back into slave mode after that. But i know this is the mode i prefer and this is who i am, i am Master's slave, good and bad. It's a never ending process for me and i know that somedays i do much better than others. i just haven't had very many good days lately, but i'll improve, i know i will because He requires it and because i need to make Him happy and proud of me.
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
HELP!
Racing fans probably all know about the Victory Junction Gang Camp, but if you don't, and would like an easy way to help sick kids and help a true hero make money for them, please consider visiting http://www.votekylepetty.com/ and vote vote vote!!! You have to register, but it's easy and you won't be bombarded with spam, and if you're not convinced, use a temporary e-mail address set up just for this kind of thing. You can vote over and over until your fingers bleed!
Friday, May 05, 2006
Life Update
Well i have had some prompting from Master and Starla, they both seem to think it's been way too long since i took the time to write here and i must admit, they are right. i guess i'm just not finding too much to say here. It seems like i have been spending my days either to and from doctors or playing Everquest. Not too much new here to report. Master and i spent part of an evening outside cleaning up from the winter and mowing. We put out new garden lights and i think they are really nice. We put them out lining the rock garden just off the front porch and last night when i went out to look at them, they really looked great. We don't do much outside for landscaping so every little thing we do, makes a difference.
We have a lot of work to do outside this year, Master is planning on a small rock garden out by the mail box and soon it will be time to set the pool up. We lost a lot of our yard last year with the lack of rain for so many months, so we are going to reseed it as soon as we get in touch with our yard guy.
Next Tuesday i'm going in for another minor surgery and i'll be laid up for a few days after that. i'll have a wooden shoe to wear so with any luck i'll be able to walk soon after the surgery. Master has hopes that after i'm done with the surgery i'll be able to wear the kind of shoes He likes. i would like to think the same thing, i have always had a lot of trouble with my toes and hopefully this and one more surgery will take care of the problem.
So today i'm planning on getting all caught up with my household chores and the laundry so Master won't have too much to worry about while i'm recovering. We haven't been doing too much as far as going out or shopping because of the gas prices, we are trying to plan well so we don't have to make as many trips into town as we used to. We have never been really good at planning ahead so it's taken some time to get used to. i'm just trying to think ahead if we need something from the store or medicine, to make sure that we have everything that we need before Master comes home from work.
These gas prices are affecting us just as much as anyone else in the country. Master drives for a living and the higher the prices, the less we make each day. i just hope that they don't go much higher or He won't be able to continue to do this job. They give Him a very small increase for the gas prices but i think for the last two months, He got like $50 total. That doesn't cover much but i guess it's something.
my mom is getting along a little better, her voice is still almost nonexistant from the trauma of the ventilator but she's having speech therapy treatments to see if they can make any improvement. She'll be going in on May 25th for her final surgery for the dialysis ports. Then she may be able to do the Peritoneal (Home) dialysis. That would really be nice for her if she could do it cause then she would again have her days free to spend how she likes. She still enjoys doing some work from home and being gone three days per week, it cuts into her work time.
i'm not sure if i'll be able to go up there for her surgery, it will depend on how well i'm walking and whether or not i'm able to drive. i'm hoping that by then i'll be pretty much back to normal. i'll just have to wait and see how i do and how far i've come by then.
Last weekend Master and i went for Sunday breakfast with an old friend of Masters. We had a very nice time and we sat and talked for 4 hours. i think the waitress was getting a little irritated that we were still there after 4 hours. i think we'll be getting together with him again soon. Master suggested that we get some nice steaks and have a cook out and invite him over. He doesn't have much of a family and he travels 5 days a week, so it might be nice to serve him a home cooked meal.
Well i have lots of chores n things i would like to get to before Master gets home from work, so i think i'll get busy. *hugs* to everyone out there in blog land!
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
We have a lot of work to do outside this year, Master is planning on a small rock garden out by the mail box and soon it will be time to set the pool up. We lost a lot of our yard last year with the lack of rain for so many months, so we are going to reseed it as soon as we get in touch with our yard guy.
Next Tuesday i'm going in for another minor surgery and i'll be laid up for a few days after that. i'll have a wooden shoe to wear so with any luck i'll be able to walk soon after the surgery. Master has hopes that after i'm done with the surgery i'll be able to wear the kind of shoes He likes. i would like to think the same thing, i have always had a lot of trouble with my toes and hopefully this and one more surgery will take care of the problem.
So today i'm planning on getting all caught up with my household chores and the laundry so Master won't have too much to worry about while i'm recovering. We haven't been doing too much as far as going out or shopping because of the gas prices, we are trying to plan well so we don't have to make as many trips into town as we used to. We have never been really good at planning ahead so it's taken some time to get used to. i'm just trying to think ahead if we need something from the store or medicine, to make sure that we have everything that we need before Master comes home from work.
These gas prices are affecting us just as much as anyone else in the country. Master drives for a living and the higher the prices, the less we make each day. i just hope that they don't go much higher or He won't be able to continue to do this job. They give Him a very small increase for the gas prices but i think for the last two months, He got like $50 total. That doesn't cover much but i guess it's something.
my mom is getting along a little better, her voice is still almost nonexistant from the trauma of the ventilator but she's having speech therapy treatments to see if they can make any improvement. She'll be going in on May 25th for her final surgery for the dialysis ports. Then she may be able to do the Peritoneal (Home) dialysis. That would really be nice for her if she could do it cause then she would again have her days free to spend how she likes. She still enjoys doing some work from home and being gone three days per week, it cuts into her work time.
i'm not sure if i'll be able to go up there for her surgery, it will depend on how well i'm walking and whether or not i'm able to drive. i'm hoping that by then i'll be pretty much back to normal. i'll just have to wait and see how i do and how far i've come by then.
Last weekend Master and i went for Sunday breakfast with an old friend of Masters. We had a very nice time and we sat and talked for 4 hours. i think the waitress was getting a little irritated that we were still there after 4 hours. i think we'll be getting together with him again soon. Master suggested that we get some nice steaks and have a cook out and invite him over. He doesn't have much of a family and he travels 5 days a week, so it might be nice to serve him a home cooked meal.
Well i have lots of chores n things i would like to get to before Master gets home from work, so i think i'll get busy. *hugs* to everyone out there in blog land!
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)