People must get tired of reading the same old thing, over and over again. But i remind myself as i write this that i write for myself and i use my blog as an outlet more often than not. So here i go and i hope this doesn’t sound whiney. i am tired, i haven’t hurt this much for so long without a slight reprieve for as long as i can remember. The other night i made another trip to the Emergency Room. my head is worse now that it has ever been. i wake up every day with this searing pain and even the meds that i take for it every day, are giving me no relief. i find myself a lot of the time counting the hours until it is time to take another pill for the pain. Even the smallest task seems insurmountable right now. i used to have one bad day in the midst of some pretty good ones, now i am seeking that one good day in the midst of the horrible ones.
Today is the first day in more than a week that i have been able to sit at my computer without the screen being blurry from the pain. The other night before i finally decided that i needed some medical attention, i found myself on the floor of the bathroom. Having no idea how i got there. The ER doctor said that occasionally people will black out from intense pain and apparently, that’s what happened to me. my blood pressure was sky high but there was no other indication of heart trouble.
i know that stress has a very large impact on how i feel. i don’t deal as well with stress as i once did. The other morning i got up and it was snowing pretty hard. i spent the entire morning worrying about Master driving in the snow for His job. When He didn’t offer any reassurance that He would ok, i think i went into panic mode. Our financial situation isn’t the best and i am constantly worried that He’ll get fed up with His job and quit and then we’ll be in a real bind. In my position i know that i am not supposed to worry about things as much as i do, but i can’t help it. i need to learn to let go and trust Him that He’ll take care of me. He’s taken care of things so far, there is no reason to think that He won’t continue to do so. i have to remember that.
Speaking of Master. i can’t even begin to say how thankful i am for Him and all that He does for me when i’m not doing well physically. He gets frustrated at how lethargic i am and the constant pain gets very old. But He’s always there to help me. He’ll get me whatever i need, whenever i need it. He’ll drop whatever He’s doing and go into “Protector Mode”. He’ll do whatever He can to help ease the pain and make me more comfortable. The other night He even stood behind me and held me as i was leaning over the toilet. i can’t count the times He has told me to not worry about supper and He’ll find something to eat just so i have one less thing to worry about.
Guilt. i feel horribly guilty that i can’t take care of Him and live up to my end of the bargain when i am in this condition. Many times the tables are turned and He ends up serving me instead of how it should be, instead of how i wish it could be. i came here to serve Him and to be His slave and in so many ways, i am not capable to doing so. There are times when i can’t even kneel down before Him because i don’t have the energy to get back up. He takes it all in stride in hopes of a better day. i have to believe that those days are coming, that i won’t be in this misery forever.
The plan. i made many phone calls the other day and i’m going to go back to the University Hospital after the first of the year. When i was there 2 years ago the team of doctors that i saw told me that they would like to admit me to the hospital for a week or more. i’m not exactly sure what they would do but i remember them saying something about medicating me enough to get me at a manageable pain level. Then go from there. i don’t even know if i would be able to recognize what no pain feels like. Until then, i’ll wait it out and pray for some relief here and there. i have an appointment to see a counselor tomorrow and i might find some way of dealing with stressful situations until i’m able to get to see the doctor. i realized that i have to take a more proactive role in my road to recovery, so that’s what i’m really trying to do.
In the mean time i know that there are some things that i can do to help have a more positive outlook on the whole thing. i need to continue to count my blessings and remember that there are people out there who are much worse off than i am. i am not dying, i just hurt. i have a wonderful Husband/Master who looks after me every day and who loves me no matter how i feel. my mother in law is incredibly supportive and is always there for me when i need her. We have a lovely warm home and we never go hungry. Our “kids” (animals) bring me more joy than i could ever imagine and they keep me occupied when all i want to do is sit and think about how bad i hurt. i have so much to be thankful for and i know that some day, this pain will be a thing of the past. In the mean time my motto is: One Day At A Time.
Peace to you and yours,
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
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