This has been a busy week for us. We are getting ready to go to the Women’s National Bowling Tournament in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We have had this trip planned for over a year and even though our financial situation isn’t the best at the moment, we have to go. Pretty much Master’s entire family is going as well. i went down to the bowling alley last night to practice and i didn’t do very well, but i’m not worried, i’ll just do the best i can at the tournament.
i have been reading lately about people who are leaving their journals behind and some who are leaving the lifestyle. i have also been reading that some of the other’s in the lifestyle who blog are upset with these people. Some are saying that they would never do what these people have done or leave something they have started. That’s all well and good to know that they are in this for the duration etc. i just have to say that no one except those who live their life can say just what they need to live this life the best that they know how. Everyone has to make the best decisions for themselves and do the best they can with what this life has to offer. If that means that they need a break from a journal or a break from this lifestyle or to leave it all together, then they have every right to do so without judgment from others. No one knows just what the future holds for them and not one of us can say with absolute certainty that we will journal on line for the rest of our lives. i have seen some of the most devout people turn and leave their passions behind due to an unpreventable circumstance. That’s just life. i have to trust that those who are walking in other directions are doing so with their best interest at heart and i for one have to support them in all they do.
Master has some of the same feelings as i have read on line. He feels that if someone up and leaves the lifestyle that they were never in it for the long haul to begin with. i have complete respect for other views and opinions on this matter. i guess i have never wanted to be judged based on the decisions that i make in life that’s why i have always tried really hard not to judge others.
Master has His unemployment phone interview today and i really hope that it goes well. i think it will be between He, His ex-boss and the unemployment representative. If He gets approved for this it will help out a little bit until He’s able to find a job. He’ll really start looking hard when we get back from Oklahoma, until then He’s just been poking around a bit, knowing that we wouldn’t be home and He wouldn’t be able to start anything until we got home anyway.
We have tons of chores to get done today to prepare for our trip. We won’t really be gone that long but i always like to leave a tidy house when i’m away. i’m completely done with my laundry and i just need to pick up around here a little bit and finish packing. Master on the other hand has lots to do before we go. He’ll probably be up really late again tonight. We aren’t leaving until around 9am tomorrow morning so at least we won’t have to get up at the crack of dawn. We’re really looking forward to going and i’m sure we’ll have a good time.
Have a great weekend everyone!
MD's treasure
Biz Page
On Being A "Professional" Master/slave
We've never, ever wanted to be mistaken for any of the countless people who claim to be a Master or slave when in reality, they just pretend for money. There's potentially a fine line in other folks' perception, and I've gone to considerable effort to never cross that line. My treasure writes here because she enjoys it, she loves to get and reply to comments and she also does it because I require it. In the beginning, it was a blog, nothing more, nothing less. In the last few years, it has become not only a blog, but also a hub for all of our online activity. Some of that activity is done simply for fun, some of it is to feed some sort of narcissistic need for kudos that I still deny having, and some of it is done to try to supplement our income by sharing our real life with others who might be willing to toss a few bucks our way for a small window into our normal activities. Normal for us but mere fantasies to them, things that they can't get at home or simply things that get their blood flowing south. Like most people, we started out never showing our faces, never being specific about where we live, blah blah blah. One day, I decided that I was tired of acting like I was ashamed of Myself or My girl, just so someone I knew wouldn't find a photo that would make them all butt hurt because of their own insecurities and closed-mindedness. In a very short time, we had started making videos and posting non-anonymous pictures all over the place. Eventually, My girl started doing live cam sessions for cash and it's become a multifaceted "business". That's why we're making this page. I didn't want it on the front page of the blog because this is still her blog, and always will be, but we wanted to add a page for some of the money-making things that we do.
About two years ago, we decided to test the waters with Kindle publishing. For a nominal fee of 99 cents a month, you can get this blog automatically delivered to your Kindle. Unfortunately, this makes it less likely for My girl to get the comments that she so loves, so if you decide to go the Kindle route, please come back here later to leave that comment you were thinking about!
Lately, we've had gentlemen ask if it was possible to buy My treasure's worn stockings. If worn stockings is what you seek, then we are happy to oblige. We've charged very reasonable amounts in the past, and that won't change. Pricing will depend entirely on quantity, color, availability, your location and any other variables or requests. We get her stockings from Europe, and we only order a few times a year, so we may have limited color options at any given time. If you're interested in My girl's worn stockings, or any other requests for that matter, please email her directly at precioustreasure_md@yahoo.com. We've done custom videos and would also be happy to do custom photosets. If it turns you on, and you think we can provide it, please don't hesitate to ask.
About 2 and a half years ago, we also decided to start making videos for sale. We've had a banner on the front page, but we've never really promoted it at all. Well, I'm not really going to promote it too much here either, but if you'd like to check out our clips, you can find them here. You can also find some of them here.
My treasure has also started working as a cam girl on ImLive. There's a banner on the front for this as well, but you can also click here or on the banner below to find her over there or schedule a meeting with her.
Banners here also!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
A Blessing
Master and i have been trying to take advantage of this time while He’s not working to get the house and yard in order. He spent quite a bit of time last week working on the yard and i got all caught up on my laundry. i’m not sure how long it’s been since i could say that i was all done with my laundry, but it’s been a while.
Yesterday we took the van back up to the dealer to get the master cylinder fixed hopefully for the last time. We spent the day just wandering around the mall and we stopped for a bite to eat at the food court. If at all possible i think i’ll avoid food courts for a while. Every time i eat at a food court, i have a terrible lunch and i had pizza! How can you screw up pizza? Anyway, Master and i had a very good day.
Of course with Him being out of work, we are concerned about money and have that to worry about. When we got home Master came in the house and held up three brown envelopes and said, “Perhaps this will be our salvation”. They were tax returns that i completely forgot about. As He opened each check, we were shocked as to how much they were. Apparently we qualified for Earned Income Credit and our checks were much more than we thought they were going to be. So we’ll be ok for a little while, while He searches for a new job. YAY! A true blessing!
We had an hour to kill before our TV show started last night after we got home and Master and i were in the bedroom. i was getting ready to lie down for a bit as i was really dragging. Master had me kneel down beside the bed and just then i realized that i was in the house without His collar on. i told Him that i wasn’t sure what happened to it as it wasn’t in the van, where i always put it when we get out to go in a store etc. Master went and found the collar and put it on me. Then He had me lean over the bed and He gave me quite a good spanking for not having the collar on. Then He had me strip and sit on the bed. He came in and put the blindfold and cuffs on me. Then He told me to lie on the bed and He used the sunbeam vibrator on me, while He fucked His pussy.
We have actually been enjoying this time while He’s not working even though we know it won’t last. i’m just praying that He’ll be able to find something that He enjoys and that will sustain us. Until then i'll just enjoy our time together.
MD's treasure
Yesterday we took the van back up to the dealer to get the master cylinder fixed hopefully for the last time. We spent the day just wandering around the mall and we stopped for a bite to eat at the food court. If at all possible i think i’ll avoid food courts for a while. Every time i eat at a food court, i have a terrible lunch and i had pizza! How can you screw up pizza? Anyway, Master and i had a very good day.
Of course with Him being out of work, we are concerned about money and have that to worry about. When we got home Master came in the house and held up three brown envelopes and said, “Perhaps this will be our salvation”. They were tax returns that i completely forgot about. As He opened each check, we were shocked as to how much they were. Apparently we qualified for Earned Income Credit and our checks were much more than we thought they were going to be. So we’ll be ok for a little while, while He searches for a new job. YAY! A true blessing!
We had an hour to kill before our TV show started last night after we got home and Master and i were in the bedroom. i was getting ready to lie down for a bit as i was really dragging. Master had me kneel down beside the bed and just then i realized that i was in the house without His collar on. i told Him that i wasn’t sure what happened to it as it wasn’t in the van, where i always put it when we get out to go in a store etc. Master went and found the collar and put it on me. Then He had me lean over the bed and He gave me quite a good spanking for not having the collar on. Then He had me strip and sit on the bed. He came in and put the blindfold and cuffs on me. Then He told me to lie on the bed and He used the sunbeam vibrator on me, while He fucked His pussy.
We have actually been enjoying this time while He’s not working even though we know it won’t last. i’m just praying that He’ll be able to find something that He enjoys and that will sustain us. Until then i'll just enjoy our time together.
MD's treasure
Monday, May 16, 2005
100 Things About me
100 things about me:
1. i am overweight, i hate it
2. i love to fly
3. i have terrible vision, i have worn glasses/contacts since i was in 2nd grade
4. i love to read and if there’s nothing else to read in the bathroom, i’ll read the deodorant bottle
5. i love jewelry, most especially diamonds
6. i’m claustrophobic, but i’m working on it
7. i spent the first several years of my life in and out of the hospital with asthma
8. i was abused as a child
9. i have a good voice and i have sung professionally for a recording studio
10. i won’t discuss politics or religion
11. i have had the same best friend for more than 25 years
12. i am a terrible bowler but i still enjoy it
13. i have my nipples pierced
14. i love Winnie the Pooh
15. i was a pom pom girl in high school
16. i was the choreographer for pom poms and swing choir in high school
17. i was a terrible student and barely graduated high school
18. i never knew my father, he died when i was 18 months old
19. i’m not a very good housekeeper, i used to be much better than i am today, i love a clean house
20. i love the elderly and worked in the long term care field since i graduated from high school
21. i am quick witted
22. i have severe clinical depression and my doctor wanted me to have shock therapy
23. i love to swim
24. i would like to have a baby
25. i love animals, and have a special place in my heart for domesticated birds
26. i am terrified of bats
27. i don’t talk very much
28. i am a huge John Denver fan and saw him in concert 2 times
29. i don’t cry at movies
30. i have a terrible memory
31. i knew Master one month before i moved here to be with Him
32. i am no longer able to work due to my migraines and depression
33. i fought 2 and half years for disability before finally winning
34. i am very detail oriented, i need every detail when someone is telling me a story
35. i think my cat is my soul mate
36. i am very optimistic
37. i love shopping at Wal-Mart and finding good buys
38. i make the best Swedish Pancakes
39. i have a teddy bear that goes everywhere with me
40. i am addicted to smoking
41. i would like to be with another woman sometime
42. i cheated on my ex-boyfriend
43. i was in a Covenant Catholic Community for several years
44. i am not a good speller
45. i lost my virginity at 15 to a guy i was completely in love with, he died at the age of 28
46. i love to laugh at myself when the joke is on me
47. i hate competition and i would rather lose than have someone be mad at me
48. i once had sex in an elevator at work
49. i had a three legged cat named Abi-normal
50. i had a poem published
51. i have never done “hard drugs”
52. i would like to get a tattoo
53. i recently learned that i am hard of hearing
54. i never had a prom date
55. i would like to have a breast augmentation (larger) even though i am a D cup
56. i have never been out of the country
57. i love to go camping
58. i won an award once and a trophy another time for acting
59. i play the flute and the piccolo
60. i hate onions
61. i have been with people while they have died
62. i am a terrible athlete
63. i used to have a terrible potty mouth, now i never ever swear
64. i was a leader for a retreat called Teens Encounter Christ or TEC
65. i never cried at my Grandpa’s funeral, i still haven’t cried, 18 years later, it bothers me
66. i have a new found love in country music
67. i once owned 144 pairs of socks
68. i now have over 150 pairs of shoes
69. i can not orgasm during intercourse
70. i love the smell of fresh cut grass
71. my favorite season is fall
72. tulips are my favorite flower
73. i am not photogenic, even our wedding photos are terrible of me
74. i have over 100 music awards
75. i have been in 3 fist fights, one with my best friend the night before prom
76. i wore pink every day for many years, it is still my favorite color and i wear it often
77. i can’t eat seafood, it makes me sick
78. i love the smell of burning leaves in the fall
79. i love coffee
80. i am a proud Aunt of 2 nephews and 3 nieces
81. i am not a jealous person
82. i have never thought that i was good looking
83. i fell off a horse when i was 10 and never got back on
84. i should have been a nurse
85. i have dangerously high blood pressure when not medicated
86. i have family in Holland, i would like to visit them someday
87. i have a half sister somewhere in Ohio that i have never met, we have the same first name
88. i am a huge M*A*S*H fan and have been since middle school
89. i love to people watch
90. i am extremely loyal to my friends and family
91. i love to ride in the car with Master
92. i have a sybian
93. i am terrible at math, i can’t even make change
94. i hate Chicago’s Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is song
95. i love telephones, all different kinds and styles
96. i am afraid of clowns
97. i haven’t been pain-free for 7 years, not even for one hour
98. i had no idea how difficult this task would be when i sat down to complete it
99. i never thought that i would get married
100. i love Master, more than i ever thought possible
1. i am overweight, i hate it
2. i love to fly
3. i have terrible vision, i have worn glasses/contacts since i was in 2nd grade
4. i love to read and if there’s nothing else to read in the bathroom, i’ll read the deodorant bottle
5. i love jewelry, most especially diamonds
6. i’m claustrophobic, but i’m working on it
7. i spent the first several years of my life in and out of the hospital with asthma
8. i was abused as a child
9. i have a good voice and i have sung professionally for a recording studio
10. i won’t discuss politics or religion
11. i have had the same best friend for more than 25 years
12. i am a terrible bowler but i still enjoy it
13. i have my nipples pierced
14. i love Winnie the Pooh
15. i was a pom pom girl in high school
16. i was the choreographer for pom poms and swing choir in high school
17. i was a terrible student and barely graduated high school
18. i never knew my father, he died when i was 18 months old
19. i’m not a very good housekeeper, i used to be much better than i am today, i love a clean house
20. i love the elderly and worked in the long term care field since i graduated from high school
21. i am quick witted
22. i have severe clinical depression and my doctor wanted me to have shock therapy
23. i love to swim
24. i would like to have a baby
25. i love animals, and have a special place in my heart for domesticated birds
26. i am terrified of bats
27. i don’t talk very much
28. i am a huge John Denver fan and saw him in concert 2 times
29. i don’t cry at movies
30. i have a terrible memory
31. i knew Master one month before i moved here to be with Him
32. i am no longer able to work due to my migraines and depression
33. i fought 2 and half years for disability before finally winning
34. i am very detail oriented, i need every detail when someone is telling me a story
35. i think my cat is my soul mate
36. i am very optimistic
37. i love shopping at Wal-Mart and finding good buys
38. i make the best Swedish Pancakes
39. i have a teddy bear that goes everywhere with me
40. i am addicted to smoking
41. i would like to be with another woman sometime
42. i cheated on my ex-boyfriend
43. i was in a Covenant Catholic Community for several years
44. i am not a good speller
45. i lost my virginity at 15 to a guy i was completely in love with, he died at the age of 28
46. i love to laugh at myself when the joke is on me
47. i hate competition and i would rather lose than have someone be mad at me
48. i once had sex in an elevator at work
49. i had a three legged cat named Abi-normal
50. i had a poem published
51. i have never done “hard drugs”
52. i would like to get a tattoo
53. i recently learned that i am hard of hearing
54. i never had a prom date
55. i would like to have a breast augmentation (larger) even though i am a D cup
56. i have never been out of the country
57. i love to go camping
58. i won an award once and a trophy another time for acting
59. i play the flute and the piccolo
60. i hate onions
61. i have been with people while they have died
62. i am a terrible athlete
63. i used to have a terrible potty mouth, now i never ever swear
64. i was a leader for a retreat called Teens Encounter Christ or TEC
65. i never cried at my Grandpa’s funeral, i still haven’t cried, 18 years later, it bothers me
66. i have a new found love in country music
67. i once owned 144 pairs of socks
68. i now have over 150 pairs of shoes
69. i can not orgasm during intercourse
70. i love the smell of fresh cut grass
71. my favorite season is fall
72. tulips are my favorite flower
73. i am not photogenic, even our wedding photos are terrible of me
74. i have over 100 music awards
75. i have been in 3 fist fights, one with my best friend the night before prom
76. i wore pink every day for many years, it is still my favorite color and i wear it often
77. i can’t eat seafood, it makes me sick
78. i love the smell of burning leaves in the fall
79. i love coffee
80. i am a proud Aunt of 2 nephews and 3 nieces
81. i am not a jealous person
82. i have never thought that i was good looking
83. i fell off a horse when i was 10 and never got back on
84. i should have been a nurse
85. i have dangerously high blood pressure when not medicated
86. i have family in Holland, i would like to visit them someday
87. i have a half sister somewhere in Ohio that i have never met, we have the same first name
88. i am a huge M*A*S*H fan and have been since middle school
89. i love to people watch
90. i am extremely loyal to my friends and family
91. i love to ride in the car with Master
92. i have a sybian
93. i am terrible at math, i can’t even make change
94. i hate Chicago’s Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is song
95. i love telephones, all different kinds and styles
96. i am afraid of clowns
97. i haven’t been pain-free for 7 years, not even for one hour
98. i had no idea how difficult this task would be when i sat down to complete it
99. i never thought that i would get married
100. i love Master, more than i ever thought possible
Sunday, May 15, 2005
i was "tagged"
First off, i’d like to thank firerunner for including me in her “tag list”! At first i moaned when i read that i was chosen for this task. But After i got to thinking about it, it sounds kinda fun.
1. The total number of books i own.
Wow as i sit here and think about it i’m sure that they number into the thousands. i think i only have a few hundred here with Master but i know i have many hundred still at my mom’s house. If you were to combine Master’s books with mine then i’m sure you would find several thousand scattered around in bookcases throughout the house.
2. The last book i bought.
The last time i bought a book was at Barnes and Noble and i bought two at that time. We don’t have a bookstore near us so most of my books come from my mom or mother in law. So i don’t actually buy a lot of books, they are given to me. i think this is the best way because books should be shared i learned this from my mom and sister. Any time they read a good book, i would find it lying on my bed or more recently in my mailbox. So the last two books i bought were, The Five People You Meet in Heaven and The Secret Life of Bees. Both were excellent books!
3. The last book i read.
The last book i read unfortunately isn’t very interesting. my mother in law got it for me and as it turns out, i did learn a few things from it. It was Mayo Clinic on Headache. The book before that was John Grisham’s The Bleacher’s. That’s my best guess at the last book i read. i read a lot and because i have such a poor memory, it’s hard for me to keep track of what i have and haven’t read. i go in spurts where i can’t get enough to read and then i’ll go a couple months where i’m not reading at all.
4. Name 5 books that mean a lot to you.
1. The Bible, for obvious reasons.
2. Danielle Steel’s Thurston House, because that was the first “real book” i read and i was hooked on reading from then on.
3. The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse, because i have wonderful warm memories of my grandma reading that book to me when i was little. One of very few good memories of my childhood.
4. Harry the Halibut, because Master wrote and illustrated this book all by Himself and i think it’s a wonderful piece of children’s literature.
5. St. Francis of Assisi, it was given to me for my confirmation and one of the most inspirational books i have ever read.
Thanks for the opportunity to do a tiny bit of soul searching. What books one reads is really a reflection of who they are on some level.
MD's treasure
1. The total number of books i own.
Wow as i sit here and think about it i’m sure that they number into the thousands. i think i only have a few hundred here with Master but i know i have many hundred still at my mom’s house. If you were to combine Master’s books with mine then i’m sure you would find several thousand scattered around in bookcases throughout the house.
2. The last book i bought.
The last time i bought a book was at Barnes and Noble and i bought two at that time. We don’t have a bookstore near us so most of my books come from my mom or mother in law. So i don’t actually buy a lot of books, they are given to me. i think this is the best way because books should be shared i learned this from my mom and sister. Any time they read a good book, i would find it lying on my bed or more recently in my mailbox. So the last two books i bought were, The Five People You Meet in Heaven and The Secret Life of Bees. Both were excellent books!
3. The last book i read.
The last book i read unfortunately isn’t very interesting. my mother in law got it for me and as it turns out, i did learn a few things from it. It was Mayo Clinic on Headache. The book before that was John Grisham’s The Bleacher’s. That’s my best guess at the last book i read. i read a lot and because i have such a poor memory, it’s hard for me to keep track of what i have and haven’t read. i go in spurts where i can’t get enough to read and then i’ll go a couple months where i’m not reading at all.
4. Name 5 books that mean a lot to you.
1. The Bible, for obvious reasons.
2. Danielle Steel’s Thurston House, because that was the first “real book” i read and i was hooked on reading from then on.
3. The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse, because i have wonderful warm memories of my grandma reading that book to me when i was little. One of very few good memories of my childhood.
4. Harry the Halibut, because Master wrote and illustrated this book all by Himself and i think it’s a wonderful piece of children’s literature.
5. St. Francis of Assisi, it was given to me for my confirmation and one of the most inspirational books i have ever read.
Thanks for the opportunity to do a tiny bit of soul searching. What books one reads is really a reflection of who they are on some level.
MD's treasure
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Dark Times
This week ended with a bang! Let me back up a bit. A few weeks ago Master’s boss was off work for a couple days and they had a woman fill in for him while he was gone. Master worked with her for one day. i stopped in the store on that day and met her and she was a loon! In conversation Master mentioned to her (not in a disrespectful manner) that He wouldn’t work for a woman, as His views on women in the workplace are fairly old fashioned. He feels as though women should remain in the home and be housewives or nurses or teachers. This woman went back to her boss and told them that Master sexually harassed her. Friday morning they gave Him a formal written warning. Then at the end of the day they told Him that they had to cut back due to store potential and they let Him go. Master did nothing to warrant this so called “cut back” but nonetheless, they let Him go.
Needless to say, we are devastated. Just yesterday morning Master had put in an application to work for the city and now we are praying that it works out for Him. It would be more money and fewer hours for Him, but in the past He hasn’t had the best luck when applying for the city. So we’ll just wait and see what happens. In the mean time we’ll have to figure out how we’ll live on my meager income. i think He’ll try to get unemployment, but i’m sure the company will fight it.
Then last night Master told me to strip and go to the bedroom. He put me in the box for a while, maybe an hour. Then He chained me to the bed with the hood on. He then forced me to put a gag in my mouth with the hood on and i was scared to death. Long story short, i have a very hard time with the hood and i have breathing issues. i became hysterical and He wouldn’t back down. He screamed at me and beat my ass and leg so hard they still hurt today. He told me that i’m only a slave when it suits me and that we should split up. Then He told me that we have nothing in common. He untied me and went to sleep on the couch.
i spent an hour and half last night writing Him an e-mail trying to tell Him how violated i felt and how i felt that He has no respect for my limitations. There are things that i can’t do because of my head, i can’t wear the hood for very long and i can’t wear the ball gag because it hurts my head so bad. But i have worked with Him and i’m able to wear other gags and i can tolerate the hood for quite a while now. i have overcome my fear of the hood and i have no trouble with the box that is completely shut in and pitch black.
i know that i’m not the perfect slave, but i really do try to do things that He likes. Every day i wear the clothes that He likes and i follow His rules, even the ones that i find the most difficult. i have a hard time wearing the high heels that He likes because they all hurt my feet. But i have given that a valiant effort. i know it would be easier for me to wear them if i lost some weight and hopefully someday i’ll be able to do that. Before i came here, i didn’t even own a pair of heels and i have never liked them. He’s spent thousands of dollars on shoes for me but i just can’t wear them without becoming completely exhausted in a matter of minutes. So no, i’m not the perfect slave for Him. His perfect slave would be someone who would rather wear heels and a corset than anything else. i wear the girdle and hose and skirts, just not the heels as much as He would like.
i hate to even think it, but maybe i’m not the right person for Him. Maybe He should have someone thinner who can do all the things that He wants. But the one thing i do know is that i support Him no matter what. i’m there for Him when things are good and i stand by Him in the darkest of times. No matter how bad things get, i always look on the bright side of things and try to find the good in it. When we wrecked the car, we were standing along the roadside and i was holding Him when He thought that we were doomed. i told him that i thought this could be blessing is disguise and that everything would work out. When He came home last night and told me about His job, i didn’t freak out, i told Him that it wasn’t His fault. Yet when i have a hard time with something, He screams at me and gives up and says things like i’m not a slave and we should split up. Doesn’t sound fair to me. i love Him, the good, the bad and everything in between. That’s what a marriage is all about.
MD's treasure
Needless to say, we are devastated. Just yesterday morning Master had put in an application to work for the city and now we are praying that it works out for Him. It would be more money and fewer hours for Him, but in the past He hasn’t had the best luck when applying for the city. So we’ll just wait and see what happens. In the mean time we’ll have to figure out how we’ll live on my meager income. i think He’ll try to get unemployment, but i’m sure the company will fight it.
Then last night Master told me to strip and go to the bedroom. He put me in the box for a while, maybe an hour. Then He chained me to the bed with the hood on. He then forced me to put a gag in my mouth with the hood on and i was scared to death. Long story short, i have a very hard time with the hood and i have breathing issues. i became hysterical and He wouldn’t back down. He screamed at me and beat my ass and leg so hard they still hurt today. He told me that i’m only a slave when it suits me and that we should split up. Then He told me that we have nothing in common. He untied me and went to sleep on the couch.
i spent an hour and half last night writing Him an e-mail trying to tell Him how violated i felt and how i felt that He has no respect for my limitations. There are things that i can’t do because of my head, i can’t wear the hood for very long and i can’t wear the ball gag because it hurts my head so bad. But i have worked with Him and i’m able to wear other gags and i can tolerate the hood for quite a while now. i have overcome my fear of the hood and i have no trouble with the box that is completely shut in and pitch black.
i know that i’m not the perfect slave, but i really do try to do things that He likes. Every day i wear the clothes that He likes and i follow His rules, even the ones that i find the most difficult. i have a hard time wearing the high heels that He likes because they all hurt my feet. But i have given that a valiant effort. i know it would be easier for me to wear them if i lost some weight and hopefully someday i’ll be able to do that. Before i came here, i didn’t even own a pair of heels and i have never liked them. He’s spent thousands of dollars on shoes for me but i just can’t wear them without becoming completely exhausted in a matter of minutes. So no, i’m not the perfect slave for Him. His perfect slave would be someone who would rather wear heels and a corset than anything else. i wear the girdle and hose and skirts, just not the heels as much as He would like.
i hate to even think it, but maybe i’m not the right person for Him. Maybe He should have someone thinner who can do all the things that He wants. But the one thing i do know is that i support Him no matter what. i’m there for Him when things are good and i stand by Him in the darkest of times. No matter how bad things get, i always look on the bright side of things and try to find the good in it. When we wrecked the car, we were standing along the roadside and i was holding Him when He thought that we were doomed. i told him that i thought this could be blessing is disguise and that everything would work out. When He came home last night and told me about His job, i didn’t freak out, i told Him that it wasn’t His fault. Yet when i have a hard time with something, He screams at me and gives up and says things like i’m not a slave and we should split up. Doesn’t sound fair to me. i love Him, the good, the bad and everything in between. That’s what a marriage is all about.
MD's treasure
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
i will not ask to smoke
1. i will not ask to smoke
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Obviously i’m in a bit of trouble with Master.
MD's treasure
2. i will not ask to smoke
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Obviously i’m in a bit of trouble with Master.
MD's treasure
Thursday, May 05, 2005
A Whole lotta nothing.......
Master and i are taking the new van in to the dealer again today. The master cylinder is leaking now and the other day the ABS light came on while Master was driving. i am really hoping they fix it for free again. i suppose they should seeing that it’s the same problem we had initially. But we’ll see what they say. i’m sure that Master hates spending His day off taking care of car trouble but it needs to be taken care of and i’m just lucky that i don’t have to deal with it alone.
Today promises to be a warm and lovely spring day. i’m actually looking forward to shopping and just wasting some time while we wait for them to fix the van. The last time we went up to have this done, we had a really nice day. Master already told me to be thinking about where i’d like to have lunch. There are a lot more options in the city than there are here.
Sunday, Master spent a couple hours working on some new restraints for me. He made them out of a rubber type material. It’s something that i could wear all the time and not have to take off to shower. He says He’ll leave an emergency key in a sealed envelope and i would need to have a really good reason should i use the key while He’s at work.
i’m all done with league bowling for the season and i had my last night of work on Tuesday night. The bowling alley closes for the summer when the leagues are finished so i won’t be working at all this summer. i’m not sure if i’m going back next fall or not, i’m inclined to say no. Even working those 4 hours a week was a struggle sometimes and i hated letting them down when i wasn’t feeling well. i spent my last night working tending bar and i find that i really like that. If i do go back, i might ask if they need help in the bar and just help out once in a while. i liked that much better than working at the desk, there was more to do and you get to actually talk to the customers a little bit. Some more than you want to, but that’s ok too.
This coming weekend i am bowling in the State Tournament Saturday with my family and Sunday with my regular bowling team. i haven’t bowled for a couple weeks so i’m sure i’m rusty. i need to get down there and practice some before the weekend. Sunday after i’m done bowling i think we’re getting together with Master’s mom and sister for Mother’s Day. i don’t think i have been to see my mom on Mother’s Day since i have lived here. This year was out of the question due to the State Tournament but i think i’m really going to try to make it up there next year. my mom is very understanding and wouldn’t complain about me not coming up but i’m sure she would like me to be there. my niece is graduating from high school in a couple weeks so i plan on going to her graduation. i can’t go to her party on Memorial Weekend as we’ll be in Oklahoma, so i really want to make sure i’m there for her ceremony. She was just voted into the National Honor Society and i’m told that’s a big deal. Last weekend was her Senior Prom and when my sister called me and told me what her dress looked like and told me all about her outfit, i was sad that i wasn’t there. When i lived there i would have been totally involved in things like that.
Like i have said before, i don’t regret my decision to move here and be with Master. i love Him and i love our home and our life together. i only wish i was closer to my family so i could be more involved in their lives. When i first moved here my sister wouldn’t call me at all and we had very little contact. i think she’s come to terms with the fact that i’m here now and this is where my life is, so she’s a lot more apt to call me and keep me in the loop of what’s going on in her life. She has always been one of my closest friends and even though i don’t see her as much as i once did, she is still a huge part of my life. That’s something Master doesn’t quite understand as He thinks she’s a snooty prude, hehehe. She can be at times but she’s also one of the funniest people i know and we have a blast when we’re together.
i should get busy and us get ready to leave, we may have a long day ahead of us.
MD's treasure
Today promises to be a warm and lovely spring day. i’m actually looking forward to shopping and just wasting some time while we wait for them to fix the van. The last time we went up to have this done, we had a really nice day. Master already told me to be thinking about where i’d like to have lunch. There are a lot more options in the city than there are here.
Sunday, Master spent a couple hours working on some new restraints for me. He made them out of a rubber type material. It’s something that i could wear all the time and not have to take off to shower. He says He’ll leave an emergency key in a sealed envelope and i would need to have a really good reason should i use the key while He’s at work.
i’m all done with league bowling for the season and i had my last night of work on Tuesday night. The bowling alley closes for the summer when the leagues are finished so i won’t be working at all this summer. i’m not sure if i’m going back next fall or not, i’m inclined to say no. Even working those 4 hours a week was a struggle sometimes and i hated letting them down when i wasn’t feeling well. i spent my last night working tending bar and i find that i really like that. If i do go back, i might ask if they need help in the bar and just help out once in a while. i liked that much better than working at the desk, there was more to do and you get to actually talk to the customers a little bit. Some more than you want to, but that’s ok too.
This coming weekend i am bowling in the State Tournament Saturday with my family and Sunday with my regular bowling team. i haven’t bowled for a couple weeks so i’m sure i’m rusty. i need to get down there and practice some before the weekend. Sunday after i’m done bowling i think we’re getting together with Master’s mom and sister for Mother’s Day. i don’t think i have been to see my mom on Mother’s Day since i have lived here. This year was out of the question due to the State Tournament but i think i’m really going to try to make it up there next year. my mom is very understanding and wouldn’t complain about me not coming up but i’m sure she would like me to be there. my niece is graduating from high school in a couple weeks so i plan on going to her graduation. i can’t go to her party on Memorial Weekend as we’ll be in Oklahoma, so i really want to make sure i’m there for her ceremony. She was just voted into the National Honor Society and i’m told that’s a big deal. Last weekend was her Senior Prom and when my sister called me and told me what her dress looked like and told me all about her outfit, i was sad that i wasn’t there. When i lived there i would have been totally involved in things like that.
Like i have said before, i don’t regret my decision to move here and be with Master. i love Him and i love our home and our life together. i only wish i was closer to my family so i could be more involved in their lives. When i first moved here my sister wouldn’t call me at all and we had very little contact. i think she’s come to terms with the fact that i’m here now and this is where my life is, so she’s a lot more apt to call me and keep me in the loop of what’s going on in her life. She has always been one of my closest friends and even though i don’t see her as much as i once did, she is still a huge part of my life. That’s something Master doesn’t quite understand as He thinks she’s a snooty prude, hehehe. She can be at times but she’s also one of the funniest people i know and we have a blast when we’re together.
i should get busy and us get ready to leave, we may have a long day ahead of us.
MD's treasure
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